My Human Disguise.
One
I am Gargantua the great.
I was born 11 months late
And 25 pounds overweight.
They say my mom did not dilate
So much as stay inebriate.
In my first 7 months I ate
Each day a raw half-ton primate
Brought to me in a silver crate.
The screaming made me salivate
Enough to fill the wide Euphrate....
Ease in bed’s my natural state.
Whenever I walk I create
Wobbles in how planets rotate
And the earth’s circle turns oblate.
Two
I’m sad I cannot copulate
Because I have not found a mate
Who can withstand my fleshy freight.
(I’ve other ways to recreate,
So I ... what’s the word? Ends with ‘bait.’)
I write long essays to berate
The scientists with addled pate
Who say I can’t regenerate.
My dream is of a girlish Fate,
Who’ll bring me a Donna or Kate,
Who’ll match me stone for stone in weight,
And when at last I procreate
My sons will burst each kingly gate
And rid the world of love and hate.
