As each day he brings a new thing into this world.
His pockets are filled with walnuts with ideas curled
Inside. "It's time!" he postulates, "to crack away!"
The butt of his ax frees ten trillion telephones
And a machine for turning metal into bones.
For fun he introduces a nasty pop star
And rewrites the extinction of the dinosaur.
He throws us all a scare with a meteorite,
Then he warms the globe, or doesn't -- though he still might.
His porker has been with him since its ear was tagged
With instructions to eat the empty walnut shells.
He's chomped on them for ages and only once gagged.
Our hero often says, "There's Hell, but we like hells."